The feelings of inadequacy and incompetency to teach Journalism/Yearbook stem from the readings from Student Journalism & Media Literacy. I cannot help but to think, "Illiteracy is more like it." I'm in the wrong place. I cannot create the model pages that are demonstrated in the text. What am I teaching on a day to day basis? The illiterate feeling is overwhelming. Teachers are workaholics by nature; I can't think of any colleague who does not go above and beyond. Teachers are perfectionists too. How can I be a perfectionist when I am illiterate in a course I teach? Ahhh......here comes on another panic attack. (That's another blog altogether!)
Yet, I know I am not alone. My feelings of inadequacy really are inadequate. Throughout the ASNEchat pages, I have come to realize that many of the participants are coming into the program with the same limited skill set. In fact, I might even have a sliver of an advantage with one year of experience and relying on student editors to fix the problems. I have, "a pack of blessings... upon thy back" (3.3.141). So here are my blessings:
1. I was selected to participate in this prestigious institute to turn my illiteracy into literacy.
2. I will meet colleagues who can guide and mentor me on this part of my career journey.
3. My administration supports my programs as well as supports my occasional mental breakdown.
4. My greatest blessing: my students. I cannot grow to become a proficient teacher without them.
Literacy takes time to become proficient. I am waiting for the moment in the future when I can honestly say, "I nailed this!" Until then, I do worry about the journey. I keep an old-fashioned meat grinder on my desk and I often threaten to grind hands for poor-quality writing or missed deadlines. I don't really want to use that meat grinder! Perhaps I should just grind up those inadequate feelings of feeling inadequate instead.
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| Photo Courtesy of S. Fonzo |
Sharon Fonzo
Poston Butte HS
San Tan Valley, Arizona
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ReplyDeleteI can certainly relate to this post Sharon! I have had the same feelings about my own limited abilities while reading the texts books and completing the assignments. This last year advising my journalism class I often felt like I was on an island. There were few teachers to collaborate with, and I was still in the process of finding class resources. I know this experience will help me grow as and educator, and the opportunity to collaborate with others will be invaluable.
ReplyDeleteJill Cavotta
Mater Dei High School
Santa Ana, California
Hang in there, Sharon. I think we all feel the same way in one form or another. The best part of the institute will be having a new network of people to work with from across the country. I'm looking forward to it!
ReplyDeleteEmily Sell
Bingham High School
South Jordan, Utah
I think that feelings of inadequacy aren't necessarily a bad thing, so long as it fuels a desire to learn and grow. I feel inadequate all the time, but that pushes me to figure out what I don't know and then go learn it. That's why I applied to the institute! I mean, I can do my job, but over the last two years as an adviser, I've felt that my kids deserve more, so I'm excited to get better for them. I'm pretty sure I'll always feel inadequate about one thing or another, it's what you do with those feelings that counts! Your post really resonated with me - thanks for writing it!
ReplyDeleteErinn Harris
TJHSST
Alexandria, VA
I agree with Erinn. I tell my students that those feelings are OK and can be channeled toward improving performance -- until the first ulcer. Teaching journalism to me requires something akin to an MBA. You don't have to be able to do all the jobs to perfection but need to understand how those tasked with doing certain jobs to perfection accomplish it to set and hold people to expectations.
ReplyDeleteSteve Elliott
Arizona State University
Phoenix
Sharon, I am right there with you! I have mentioned before that I am first in line for the Most Improved award. For the two years that I have "taught" journalism I have felt like a fraud. But I also know that during those two years I reached out and sought help from those that knew how to do this important work. And that is what will happen for all of us this coming week. What a treat we are in for!
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ReplyDeleteSharon,
ReplyDeleteYou've summed up my last two years of teaching journalism, newspaper, and yearbook. As a fifteen year veteran teacher it's been a true struggle to revisit the feelings of overwhelm, inadequacy, and frustration that are the hallmarks of a new teacher. I have high hopes that the work we have done leading up to the institute and the next six days will better inform my instruction and infuse me with more energy and confidence.
Jennifer Woolsey
Sunrise Mountain HS
Peoria, AZ
The best way to learn is throw yourself into the subject then teach it! If I have learned something well enough to explain to my students and they understand it, then I've done my job! I have learned so much in the past two years at Molina, especially from my animation coworker who used to be a graphic designer. I am constantly looking for new workshops and classes. I think this workshop will help us build confidence to start a strong publications class. It's all uphill from here!
ReplyDeleteVictoria Tijerina
Moises E Molina High School
Dallas, Texas